Question from anon on 3/20/2008:
Dear Father Levis, You answer confession questions with such compassion and clarity. I am hoping you can help me. I don't know if I am being scrupulous about this or if I am spending much of my time in mortal sin. I am a married person. My spouse (husband) is much more interested in engaging in the marital embrace and I do not refuse him but sometimes If I know that he would like to and I am just sleepy or not really wanting to I just ignore him. I am concerned about recieving Holy Communion on Easter and I had just been to confession a couple of weeks ago. Thank you for your help.
Answer by Fr. Robert J. Levis on 3/21/2008:
Dear Anon, You must remember that you share life equally with your spouse. There is but "one flesh" between you. So, when he seeks union with you, i.e. with living out this "one flesh" you need a very serious reason for negating his approach. Of course, you may refuse him with impunity for a serious reason, but sometimes spouses refuse for less than serious reasons, which is sinful. Actually they are doing an injustice to their partner. Common sense must come into play here, reason must rule. Practically speaking, why not frankly ask your spouse "Is this important, are you under stress, too much stress?" If he replies "yes" then you should be affirmative with him. God bless you. Fr. Bob levis, Happy Easter.